Need help to

watch less porn

Hi there! We’re stoked you’re here.

Porns everywhere and its super easy to find yourself watching more than you want to. If porn’s taking up heaps of your headspace and you want to cut down – you’re in the right place. It’s awesome you’re thinking about it and keen to change things up 👍 Kia Kaha.

Tips & Tools

Looking for quick tips? Here’s what you need.
IS IT JUST ME?
Nope 😊 – lots of young people that watch porn struggle to cut down! In a recent NZ study, 42% of regular porn viewers wanted to watch less but found it hard not to(27).
So, if you’re feeling like you want to cut down on porn, but can’t, you’re not alone! Here’s the d-low on why this might be happening…
Porn’s buzz
When we’re watching porn and turned on, it feels good (duh) so it’s normal to want to go back for more, especially when we feel low.
If we use porn to help with negative feelings, it can also tell our bodies that porn helps, and can end up creating a pattern where using porn becomes a comfort or way to de-stress. So, it makes sense if you find yourself struggling to stop watching porn 😕 — it can happen without even realising.
What’s Success?

Changing up porn habits is a process. Success is about taking one step at a time – like choosing to go for a run or call a mate when you feel stressed and want to jump into some porn.

It’s about putting one foot in front of the other, taking it day by day, and being brave.

“It’s hard to admit you have a porn problem or to even say that it’s involved in your life… Admitting is the first step, so I think finding a way to be able to talk about it normally or subtly is a goal worth achieving.”
Anon youth, TLP Survey 2020

Porn, your brain and your sex life
It’s not new that sex and watching porn can cause our brains to fire out hormones causing a ‘rush’.

For some young people, they want to keep going back for the ‘rush’ – but can then struggle to stop. For others, with time, the rush can take longer and longer to happen, so they start needing more porn or more extreme types of porn to get turned on.

This can also impact real life sex, because some young people’s brains are so used to being turned on with porn, it can become harder (lol) to get turned on in real-life sex. 

The flow what’s happening?

Scientists talk about ‘flow’ – when you’re so into what you’re doing, you lose track of time and nothing else matters… like when you game or surf and just wanna go on forever. This can happen while watching porn – especially when the flow ends in a great rush.

When we’re in the flow, our brains are in the perfect zone for learning and developing new habits. This makes it super easy for us to develop patterns around our porn usage or sexual desires and expectations, without even realising it.

“It’s hard to admit you have a porn problem or to even say that it’s involved in your life… Admitting is the first step, so I think finding a way to be able to talk about it normally or subtly is a goal worth achieving.”
Anon youth, TLP Survey 2020

Culture, faith and shame
People from cultures or faiths where porn is a no-no can often experience more shame and guilt about their porn use than other young people, regardless of how much porn they watch.
They may also be less likely to talk or reach out to people for help because of the shame surrounding porn. If this is you, it’s hard to go it alone — so find someone safe who can support you — like an older sibling, cousin or school counsellor.
Porn can make us feel good ‘in the moment’ – but can get tricky when it’s overused to de-stress and/or ends up creating patterns without us even realizing, that are hard to break.

Tips & tools

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Self-help T.A.B.S. tool

Here’s some questions and our self help tool to get you going…

Self-help online tools

Here’s some great online tools that can help while you work this one out…

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